830 Days.

830 Days

      That is about 10% of my entire life, and how long I have been in this community. I'm astonished by how much I did in that time, and I say that from the viewpoint that this experience has not really been beneficial for me as a person. Would I say it was negative? No. Where my bored and uncreative self was wandering around trying to make a silly fake nation on a silly pixel nation simulator, there have been many people who I found about who have inspired me to do a lot more with my life, people who I felt gave me a reason to keep having hope in myself. I have never really been good with my self-esteem, I have never really been satisfied with my life, and I have never really thought I was going anywhere. Yet, somehow, miraculously, here of all places, I think I have found a part of me that actually thinks that someday I could amount to something.

      Ofcourse, if you have read any of the probably hundreds of overly dramatic leaving bulletins, you can tell by now that that is what this is, and maybe you're thinking why that is; It's a mesh of reasons, and I am not goin gto be able to tell you the full reasoning without this becoming a 'Why RP is Bad' or 'Why Certain People Bad'. On a less depressing note, I want to move on from RP to focus on new stuff, like coding, like bookwriting, like school, like whatever else I might pick up along the way, but also just getting my life in order; Arguing or pinging everyone in one of Sedrosia's crappily designed servers is not contributing to those goals, and unfortunately I have spent probably tens of hours doing those things.

      Then there's the 'Why Certain People Bad' part about the community, I would not say in any point in time has the community been more selfish, brainless, rude, unappreciative, and insert buzzwords here. I've been thinking about this for a while, if you need proof, here's Here, Here, and Here, to name a few. At first, it was my "friends", Olsztyn and Nukey, both of whom were more invested in the alliance-politics side of the game, but wanted to share their worldbuilding with the rest of RP, Nukey especially. The reason I came to RP was because I was heavily interested in worldbuilding, that's why I like making graphs, and maps, and stuff like SBCON; Anyways, what I saw was that people decided to prioritize their own worldbuilding, trolling, incompetency, and other nonsense over this stuff, which has been the lifeblood of RP. Now, whether you want to argue if that is the point of this RP bulletin system I do not care for, as this is what I and many others utilized/utilize it for. Then in the case of Olsztyn, I watched as the toxicity compiled everytime she and APSA went againt the colonialist nations in rp. There was never a way to not be in the wrong, we could be warmongers one hour, bullies another, crybabies the next, and scaredy cats the following; Then, when she had the audacity to call people out, the mob lined up in her comments and on discord servers to talk crap, ignore her actual reasoning, and continue to perpetuate the problems she exposed. 

      Olsztyn attacked Luna in her DMs, and from what I gathered, her intent was not to belittle her, but simply put, she had stopped caring, she did not think it was worth the investment to be nice, afterall, she was leaving; Now, I'm reaching the same conclusion, it is not worth the investment from me to be nice to people, when I am not treated the same way. I will pride myself that I managed to talk to two of these people who I thought were being rude to me and Olsztyn and when I gave them my arguments they were left speechless, but still refused to implement any change. These parties have routinely avoided criticism by misdirecting it at others, somehow, we have managed, as a community, to accept that only some people should be acquitted of crimes simply because they are loosely our allies. I, though having been temped some times, have always held people to the same standard, Cascadia, Intercon, Olsztyn, Nukey, etc. I have found that it does not pay to hold people to the same standards, you'll only be shooting yourself in the foot, and be expected to apologize, endure dozens of hate messages, etc.

     This is the shortest possible summary of why I don't feel welcome in this community, excluding so much crap I've been put through, like being a moderator on Ruddock, being called a no-no-german, among other things. Aside from that, I had many laughs, I had a lot of fun, I made a lot of cool stuff, I met a lot of cool people. I have made or participated in many community contributions including: SBCON, New Rper onboarding, Democracy Indexes, Countryballs, Artwork/Comics, Slander videos, preserving land for new players/onboarding, etc. 

     Unfortunately, most of the cool people I have found myself distant from, or they have left; Still, there are quite a few people who I think are good role-models from the community, are severely under-appreciated, extremely talented, very helpful, or a mix of all of those:

      TUI: Though I disapprove of the way you barged into the RP scene, I know you just want to have a good time, and despite all of our arguments, I would not say my experience with you was not positive.

      Ryusei: Your bulletins, writing, effort, is all stellar, you helped me make the recent version of SBCON, you've given me feedback on bulletins, you have been a very good acquaintance, and you're still somehow a real person, gonna miss working on stuff with you.

      Canada: I haven't talked to you recently, but the fun I had with you in Gartic Phone, GENDT, etc, was some of the best, you make great bulletins; Since I don't expect to talk to you again, I only hope your life is filled with happiness.

      Tang: I haven't known you for that long, but you seem like a cool person, even if you don't believe it, your Map of Orbis has been a huge help and the amount of effort you put into your bulletins is phenomenal.

      Cruzerio: Your videos are amazing and your worldbuilding is one of the best, there is nothing negative I could say about you, and thankyou so much for your help with the Red Bloc War Video, I know I am leaving RP, but I hope that one day I can publish that as I would not want your work to go to waste.

      Zukesa: You also make excellent videos, you're funny, and I think you just decided to be done with everyone's crap a long time ago. I find it weird how someone can be so positive while also being here, goodluck in University.

      Chittagong: Realest person I know, unfortunately a communist, but also incredibly kind and I've seen you do a lot of work for other people in this community.

     Mundus: You also put a ton of effort into your bulletins, I've never had a rude interaction with you, you've been on and off in RP and I honestly don't know how you're still here.

     Soviet: Well, surprised I'm writing about you positively but I have seen you make a lot of effort to being sincere, and I have seen you invest so much time that you came to mind when making this.

     UKM: Heh, also surprised, but for what its worth you're a talented writer, you look out for your people, and you have provided me with the juciest opsec leaks ever.

     Pino: Funny, Done with everyone's crap for a long time, and I don't know how many times I've hated and loved you.

     Puta: Very talented, kinda disappearing, but very fun to argue with. la puta

     RMR: Hands-down I have never had more fun in Gartic Phone, raiding people, placing bounties, launching nukes, toasting idiots, and arguing than with you, you're very sincere and I'm glad I got to know you, and I'm glad you're moving on and have a happy life.

     Finni: Helped me with a lot of stuff, very funny, and actually a real person, I will never spell Aruelia right and I think if anyone has potential and the smarts to challenge GEDO and its bloc of dummies it's you.

     Sedrosia: 1000 Year enemy in RP,  but outside of that you're ok, I don't know home much shady crap you've done and I still have my own theories, maybe you're innocent, heh; Either way, you've helped me out a lot on stuff like videos, etc, you're cool, but also I hope you nuke your nation :3

     JJ: Cool 

     RoDevs: Man, I used to get so many laughs out of making fun of you, but you've put so much time and energy and love into this community, you've done so much for other people and even if I think it was misguided I have to respect that. Maybe joke a little less about uh, stuff, and we can play Gartic Again.

     luna: I'm mad you ever had to be involved in this stuff, I know everyone treats you like the innocent butterfly of the community but honestly its because its true, you're kind, you're helpful, you're unbelievably talented, I know you're going to go far and I couldnt stand for you to think that you're anything but. I have talked a little bit with you about your problems, maybe you're fine, I hope so, but just know we're all here for you.

      Everyone else I forgot: I probably don't like you much, but I also don't know much about you, you deserve the same good wishes as anybody else mentioned here. That or I've known you for over a year and I forgot you. lmfao.

     Nukey and Olsztyn: Hi

      TTTTTas: Put in all that time just to never get a Janis Turd ending, Horrible Friend, Meatrider fr fr no cap on god, smells like manure, should've spent more time touching a school desk rather than touching a laptop keyboard. Somehow had the brains to not make a twitter account.

      Alex: 4/10 Game, mid, needs more nukes.

     Don't really care for the how I end up leaving, honestly, this RP isn't deserving of an explanation for how I vanished from the Earth, but I imagine some people are going to expose their true colors when it comes to the carving up. 

     Oh yeah, and: