New trade agreements would give 100% of GDP to allies | The Indubitable Press

ARCADIA, LUNA --

According to numerous trustworthy sources, new trade agreements between Luna, La Plata and the Republic of Greenland would give 100% of the Lunar GDP to both of the other nations. This follows Greenland's declaration that any nation receiving exactly 50% of the Lunar GDP would be nuked, which was also confirmed by the indubitable fact-checking of the Indubitable Press.

"Okay, so nukes are funny," said President Aurelia Aquila when asked about the completely non-controversial and universally approved agreement. "And it would actually be really interesting to see what happens if someone launches half a nuke, you know? So it's an experiment of sorts, I suppose."

Many citizens, when interviewed about this topic, agreed that it was a brilliant idea and would massively improve relations between all three nations. However, some thought it could potentially be risky to the nation's security and economy.

"This might not be a good idea," said a citizen of Arcadia, who was unable to state their name before they were taken away by a questionable group of people armed with bread knives. The reason behind the appearance of the armed group is unknown, as the right of the people to free speech is guaranteed and opposition to government actions is entirely permitted unless actions in doing so are violent or dangerous.

Luna's Secretary of the Treasury, *insert name here*, stated that 49% of the GDP would be given to La Plata and 52% to The Atlas Dagger Company The Forge  the Republic of Greenland, a Lunar protectorate. This complex math was fact-checked by the President, who agreed that this was both possible and plausible.

"We are mathing the math correctly," said *insert name here.* "And this works out perfectly. What better way to support our allies, especially during wartime, than to give them all our money, right? I'm quite excited to see how this works out."

In other news, Lunar plans to expand into all 8 continents were leaked to the Indubitable Press last Friday at precisely 11:11 a.m., eliciting absolutely no response from the rest of the nation or the world. Read more at httpst.www.indubitablemedia.net/news/very-much-imperialism.