War against London

      get clickbaited lol, cbb to think of a good title

[ JanisTurd Mother Ship - 20,000 Miles above Sarlington Tower, Kolakia/TUI ]

      The room was a large rectangular cavern, dark and empty, the walls were sculpted with imitations of ancient hieroglyphics, and the floors were equally decorated to convey the mystique and importance of the dimly lit throne-room. Janis looked down below her throne, staring at the floor, it had been a while since anything interesting had happened. I mean sure, there were wars here and then, but she was bored with the lack of originality, the steady course of world politics, the rich would get richer, and the poor would become poorer. Perhaps this was permanent, perhaps it was time to find a new host planet. Then, behind her tall ruby throne, the large window shudders overlooking it began to open, the sunlight cast in, illuminating the room, and revealing Orbis below. The fair lady was curious, she kicked off her cat slippers and excitingly hurried towards the window, planting one hand on the window, which, and from the outside her palm appeared turquoise. Her eyes peered all over the earth, inspecting every mountain and river until it had become quite obvious what she had been looking for; A bright plume of light and red gas appeared over London, then over Serbia, the ghastly white clouds ceased their movement then moved rapidly backwards away from the blasts, rippling away one after another. She watched for minutes upon minutes upon minutes as the light bloomed and then faded back, knowing instantly what it must be, a great victory, a great pain inflicted in what she had presumed to be the cause of her boredom. Then, the red mist and yellow dots began to vanish, fading into the atmosphere, leaving a crater into the bright lights that once dotted the land below. a sea of bright flickering lights became 500, then 50, then 5, then none, as the lower half of the isle of Britain grew dark.

      She withdrew her hand from the window as if to reject the events, that was it, seriously, where were the smoke trails, the constant lights signaling doom, she had had enough, but for a few minutes the destruction and light fueled an intense joy. Janis walked back to her prodigious mount, stared at the large door into the room and, facing backwards from the chair, raised her heels upon the step, and lifted herself up and sat down. For the next few minutes she dawdled, playing with her fingers in her hair, spinning it around before getting an idea. To her right, she pressed down on a big red button that sat comfortably on the shoulder of the throne. A long metal shaft freely swung down from the ceiling and appeared a few inches or so off of the right shoulder of the chair, Janis proceeded to grab the handle leading up to the microphone at the end of the tube, and spoke, "One of you servants bring me a pen and paper, not too much paper though, but long enough to get my thoughts out." less than thirty seconds later, a short man scurried through the speedily opened doors that guarded the room entrance, he ran across the field and, panting, reached the throne in a bit under forty seconds. "Slower than usual." Janis remarked condescendingly. The servant lifted his arm out to reveal four or so pieces of paper, an eraser, and a dark ballpoint pen, both placed onto pink fabric, all concealed in a squarish glass container, which sloped at it's top where it's delicately carved bulb allowed Janis to lift the container, before carefully removing the sheets and pencil inside. She motioned for the servant to leave, which he did so in fifteen seconds time. Janis lifted the pen and clicked the top, allowing graphite to protrude from the bottom end and she sat it just above the paper, which she perched on the left shoulder of the royal chair.

      "Dear Chairwoman Fine." She pondered for a bit, and erased the words with the pink rubber. Big fan of your work, but I've already sent you a butt load of compliments, she though to her self before writing again, "Dear People of Orbis," "You may have been frightened by the recent larger-than normal explosions over some larger-than-normal cities in this smaller-than-normal world. I'll let you know that you have nothing to fear, as the respectable and brave leaderperson Fine was merely collecting a debt, one which Britain forgot to pay a very very long time ago. Should you have no debts to the cause of freedom, then you should not be afraid, as the virtuous Atlantic and Pacific Security Accords, an esteemed organization which I am proud to be an observer of, is most just and accurate, and her sword only smites those unworthy of a role in the global order; For, the sword is only stained by the blood of the worthy, and there are no stains on the sword at this time, Orbis is truly better off without the, 'victims'. Soon you will see, the hegemonic orders and bullies which have convened upon the globe, will fail; The tyrants will perish, and billions of innocents will breath free air. Though the good which emanates from her sword will one day reach all, it is important you aid the cause and fight against the tyrannical monsters which have divided Orbis for their ill-gotten gains. Glory to the APSA, Death to the tyrants, and embrace the coming great freedom which will liberate all across the planet. P.S, I spoke to a orangutang on Mars and he said that the Dagger Company was torturing frogs in the Congo, and that Rapture was a plot to summon the Antichrist."