| National Factbook |
| Flag: |
 |
| Nation Name: |
State of Crisis |
| Leader Name: |
Clod |
| Currency: |
Dollar |
| National Animal: |
None |
| History: |
As founder of this stupid nation, Clod was bestowed the highest honour: the title of Simpleton, and was charged with leading the nation. Simpleton Clod soon announced that Idiocy would be the form of government and immediately chose an advisor whom he called The Fool (the highest title after Simpleton). The idiots (the people) were delighted and Clod vowed to rule for degenerations to come.
Sadly, during a war, my right hand man, The Fool, was killed. He will be difficult to replace but after some searching I think I have found the person stupid enough to fill the role. He is a short, laconic fellow and will be known as Pithy the Fool.
1st March: Clod warns of the dangers of nuclear power. 2nd March: Clod is delighted to open this incredibly stupid nation's first nuclear power plant.
A top secret government facility was built in State of Crisis. The advertising campaign to promote it was so successful, and the tourist numbers so large, that a city developed around it. Simpleton Clod is delighted to announce that it has now officially been given the city status that it deserves and will be known as Top Secret City. The city prides itself on it's extensive system of signposts allowing visitors to find it with ease even from a considerable distance away.
It was nothing short of a cataclysm; Acadia reduced to a shadow of it's former self. What was Simpleton Clod to do? Where was he to lead his stupid nation? Or was it, in fact, the end of everything? Then it happened. A vision? A sign? Who knows? There was light, then there was darkness. His stupid nation was fearful and despairing over what would become of them. Simpleton Clod felt it was an omen but what did it mean? Should he lead his nation, his children, into the light or end things in darkness. It was then that he discovered a name and with that name a third way presented itself. That name was eclipse. Light then darkness. The celestial bodies had aligned to show Simpleton Clod the way and that way was a mighty alliance: Eclipse!
GW29 has been most shocking to my people. Not because of all the lives lost, the devastation to cities, or even the unusual chafing suffered by the military due to the unique ways in which the uniforms are produced. No, there has been much surprise about the unprecedented competence of the operators of the missile and nuke defensive systems. In particular, they seem to have mastered blocking a nation called virus with 2 missiles and 2 nukes stopped.
I would like to reassure my citizens that I take these claims of competence extremely seriously and have launched an investigation (something that they certainly won't be able to block) to ensure that it is put to a stop. Competence is something that I will simply not tolerate! |
| Geography |
| Continent: |
North America |
| Land Area: |
453,833.88 sq. km |
| Terrain: |
When the nation was first founded, the land was desolate and barren. But there was an exception to this in the form of the strawberry fields which, due to an optical illusion, appeared to go on forever. This is why the national fruit is the strawberry.
Now, the land is largely verdant and fertile, and numerous farms have taken advantage of this.
There are mountainous regions. However, all mountains have been classified as molehills and all molehills have been classified as mountains. This means that I can sincerely proclaim our molehill ranges to be the most impressive in Orbis. The mole is the national animal. |
| Highest Peak: |
Molehill Mohill, 12,345 meters |
| Lowest Valley: |
Zenith Basin, -696 meters |
| Climate: |
When it's cold, it's very cold. When it's hot, it's very hot. When it's cool, it's very cool. Some people even say that at times we're the coolest nation ever. But those people are idiots and therefore biased.
When it snows, it's like a god is having a one-sided snowball fight with the people.When it rains, it rains cats and dogs. Animal shelters struggle to cope with the influx but, coincidentally, meat does seem to reach bargain prices at this time. When it's sunny, people cook outdoors without the aid of any kind of barbeque. |
| People & Society |
| Population: |
20,483,667 people |
| Demonym: |
Crisish |
| Demonym Plural: |
Crisisians |
| Ethnic Groups: |
Moron - 40.0%
Imbecile - 35.0%
Dum - 25.0% |
| Languages: |
Gibberish - 80.0%
Gobbledygook - 11.0%
Rubbish - 9.0% |
| Religions: |
- 0.0% |
| Health |
| Life Expectancy: |
9999 years |
| Obesity: |
0% |
| Alcohol Users: |
0% |
| Tobacco Users: |
0% |
| Cannabis Users: |
0% |
| Hard Drug Users: |
0% |
| Economy |
| Description: |
Simpleton Clod has convinced the idiots that money is evil but is a necessary evil. They have therefore been guided to get rid of their money as quickly as possible but without destroying it. This is a constant struggle for the people and for businesses. However fast they get rid of it they keep accumulating it from people wanting to get rid of their own hard earned, but desperately unwanted, money. This system undoubtedly shouldn't work but somehow does probably due to the stupidity of the people. |
| Average Yearly Income: |
$173.93 |
| Gross Domestic Product (GDP): |
$36,999,684,155.00 |
| GDP per Capita: |
$1,806.30 |
| Gross National Income (GNI): |
$20,715,502,365.00 |
| Industries: |
Simpleton Clod has allowed mines to thrive. Legislation to restrict mining has been resisted for fear of driving mining underground.
The space industry is also key to the State of Crisis. Simpleton Clod encourages urban areas to be highly populated. Villages, hamlets, and isolated dwellings are heavily taxed so they are virtually unheard of in this stupid nation. This means that there is plenty of open space for people to visit. |
| Military |
| History: |
Highly skilled, intelligent, efficient, effective, ruthless, tough. None of those words can be used to describe our nation's military. If the troops can learn to use the right end of a gun to shoot with then they are considered talented members of the army.
The airforce is made up of people who thought they were going to be making paper aeroplanes. And the navy is currently just made up.
The spys are amazing though; no-one knows who they are, including the people who are supposed to be in charge of them. |
| Soldiers: |
0 |
| Tanks: |
23,500 |
| Aircraft: |
3,525 |
| Ships: |
0 |
| Missiles: |
0 |
| Nuclear Weapons: |
0 |
| Last Updated: 04/01/2024 11:20 am |
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