| National Factbook |
| Flag: |
|
| Nation Name: |
Evil Dictators Happyland |
| Leader Name: |
Alexander Mk V |
| Currency: |
Bus Tokens |
| National Animal: |
Bear |
| History: |
|
| Geography |
| Continent: |
North America |
| Land Area: |
197,144.15 sq. km |
| Terrain: |
EDH is flat and dominated by industrial concrete structures, a result of the government's attempt to make the ground itself perfectly equal and productive. There are only two notable landforms: Peak Meme, an immense mountain extending far into the atmosphere that was formed when the government's pile of debris from its flatiforming project grew to tremendous proportions as more debris was added to it over time, and The Pit Where We Keep Mecha Jeff Bezos, which is a pit where we keep Mecha Jeff Bezos so that he will never return to the world above. In fact, the Pit is so deep that it even extends into hell, and the eternal war between the Legions of Hell and Mecha Jeff Bezos' army of delivery drones is the only thing sparing the world from his wrath. |
| Highest Peak: |
Peak Meme, 69,420 meters |
| Lowest Valley: |
The Pit Where We Keep Mecha Jeff Bezos, -9,999 meters |
| Climate: |
EDH is cold and depressing. The only reliable sources of heat are pieces of factory machinery, which is perfect as all comrades save for important bureaucrats and military personnel must work in factories to earn a living. Perhaps equally reliable but less commonly available is the heat provided by the fires of hell itself, but the only one exposed to this is Mecha Jeff Bezos so it doesn't really count. |
| People & Society |
| Population: |
13,324,453 people |
| Demonym: |
Comrade |
| Demonym Plural: |
Comrades |
| Ethnic Groups: |
Comrade - 100.0% |
| Languages: |
Newspeak - 99.0%
English - 34.4%
French - 15.8% |
| Religions: |
Atheism - 100.0% |
| Health |
| Life Expectancy: |
69 years |
| Obesity: |
9.9% |
| Alcohol Users: |
100% |
| Tobacco Users: |
23.1% |
| Cannabis Users: |
420% |
| Hard Drug Users: |
14.5% |
| Economy |
| Description: |
EDH maintains an industrial command economy that has attained extreme efficiency by mathematically calculating the bare minimum it needs to give its citizens so that they won't rise up against the regime. The excess money is spent on strengthening the military, which is primarily used to redistribute wealth from foreign governments directly into the pockets of government officials. |
| Average Yearly Income: |
$145.54 |
| Gross Domestic Product (GDP): |
$17,583,888,301.00 |
| GDP per Capita: |
$1,319.67 |
| Gross National Income (GNI): |
$13,432,316,455.00 |
| Industries: |
EDH's economy is largely based on the coal, iron, uranium, military, and vodka industries.
Coal and iron are the nation's primary exports, supplemented by occasional sales of uranium. The nation's primary imports are food, steel, and aluminum.
The military, too, is exported to other countries - preferably defenseless ones - as often as possible, and it remains one of the nation's few consistently profitable enterprises.
However, the nation's prized vodka has never once been exported. This is not because the methods of manufacturing it are secret, but rather because it is so terrible that no one in the history of Orbis has actually wanted to drink it, and it is only produced because the people aren't allowed to drink anything else so they have no frame of reference. |
| Military |
| History: |
The military is the government's top priority, and it is supplied with all the manpower it needs.
The army largely consists of trained conscripts. It is well equipped with mortars, artillery, and tanks, but these are usually held in reserve. Instead, military forces engaged in weath redistribution abroad consist of infantry forces equipped with rifles. These rifles are built with durability in mind and come equipped with an effective bayonet, but the conscripts using them are given exactly one bullet each, which they are advised to use on themselves in the event of imminent capture by the enemy.
The air force is modern and relatively powerful for EDH's small size, consisting largely of multi-role platforms designed for speed, long-ranged accuracy, and ease of use, though its critics would argue that the aircraft in use by the air force accomplish none of the three. Regardless, it is designed primarily for defense, but it is capable of effective attacks on enemy forces if need be (insofar as it is capable of being effective at all).
The navy is given a low priority, and it consists of heavy coastal defense vessels designed to protect the nation's ports. The navy is not powerful enough to challenge a serious adversary whether at home or abroad, but its mere existence deters attack.
Other military branches, such as the Marines and the Coast Guard, also exist and receive funding from the government; however their composition and function has not been declassified and international observers have been unable to confirm the existence of manpower or materiel belonging to these branches. The sole international investigation into the capabilities of EDH's Marine Corps concluded that its activities more closely resembled a money laundering operation than a military organization, but the government has denied that these claims have any merit. |
| Soldiers: |
0 |
| Tanks: |
17,500 |
| Aircraft: |
2,625 |
| Ships: |
0 |
| Missiles: |
0 |
| Nuclear Weapons: |
0 |
| Last Updated: 02/29/2020 02:14 am |
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