New "I-1000" Interstate to be constructed on the moon

This week, our Swamp God-Emperor publically commended construction of the “I-1000” interplanetary interstate, much to outcry from various scientists.

As we know of, the I-1000 is supposed to provide direct transport to various celestial bodies, notably the Moon, and Mars.

Scientists have stated however, that such a feat is technically impossible, here's what one of the experts had to say.

“The I-1000 is IMPOSSIBLE!” claimed lead scientist, Jebadiah Mann. “The gravitational pull from the moon, hell even the moon's speed would instantly tear down any infrastructure built connecting the moon to earth.”

This claim from Dr. Mann was quickly rebuked by our beloved God-Emperor.

“That Dr. Mann is a FOOL. the I-1000 will revolutionize transport of goods ORBISWIDE! i could not think of a single man in this nation-state who wouldn't like it!”

Dr. Mann was later fired.

This was your Channel 8 news report, signing out.