Official statement regarding the Namibian Missile Crisis

With the Namibian Missile Crisis unfolding at this very moment, New Vilania has been forced to act. We own the territory of Cabinda, in which almost 1 million New Vilanian civilians live, and which is close to Namibia, with only Cruzeiro-owned Angola and a small strip of the Congo in between. So because of this new danger that our citizens in Cabinda face, President Kenneth Watkins has issued this official statement regarding the crisis and what Vilania is going to do about it:

Over the last few days, a regional crisis which could very well have global ramifications has been unfolding in Namibia. The nation of Thailand, which holds Namibia as a colony, has been developing ICBMs and missile silos in the territory. Thailand is threatening to have 5000 missiles placed in Namibia that can strike any country in the southern African region. This means that many nations are now under threat from Thailand, including ourselves, but also Nexiren, the Transvaal Republiek, Cruzeiro, the Congo, Greenland, the British Empire, Cameroon, and Threse. The territories of Balhae, Hyperterra, Sedrosia, the Republic of Osmans, and Nebyelstan are all potentially at risk as well.

In light of these egregious threats to peace and security in southern Africa, New Vilania feels we must do something. Almost a million people live in Cabinda, a small territory that is not even 3000 square miles in land area. That means over 900,000 innocent New Vilanian civilians are at risk of being wiped out by the Thai missiles in Namibia. This kind of threat cannot go unnoticed, and we are working around the clock to ensure that it does not.

First of all, we will be strengthening our military presence in Cabinda. Due to its isolation from the rest of the country, we already keep a strong presence there, but now, we will be significantly upping it. Currently, 50,000 soldiers, 800 armored vehicles, 140 aircraft, and 14 naval vessels are stationed there. However, at the behest of Commander Andrew Dayton, the Head of the New Vilanian military’s Cabinda Command, we will be increasing those numbers to 90,000 soldiers, 1,500 armored vehicles, 270 aircraft, and 33 naval vessels in the case of an all-out war.

Second, we will be joining the naval blockade of Namibia established by the Transvaal Republiek and La Plata. After I met with Commander Admiral James Shields, the Head of the Navy, 25 New Vilanian vessels were dispatched from Annobon Island, consisting of 1 aircraft carrier, 2 submarines, 5 battleships, 7 cruisers, and 10 destroyers. 25 more ships, with the same composition as the first fleet, are on their way from the mainland. 

Third, our military presence on Annobon Island will also be increased. The head of the military’s Annobon Command, Commander Felipe Sanchez, has arranged for a large force to be stationed in the military-controlled zone of the island in the case of a war. 15,000 marines and 25,000 regular infantrymen are already stationed there, and 10,000 more marines and 35,000 more regulars will arrive soon. A fleet of 2 aircraft carriers, 5 battleships, 7 submarines, 10 cruisers, and 13 destroyers is stationed there. 250 aircraft are at the island, ready to commence bombing runs against strategic targets in Namibia, as well as Windhoek and Walvis Bay. 400 more are scheduled to arrive shortly.

The government of New Vilania would also like to promulgate our wishes for the punishments Thailand will endure as a result of these outrageous actions. We formally demand that after this crisis is resolved, Thailand cede all of Namibia, most likely to either Nexiren or Cruzeiro. We also demand that the nation of Thailand be banned from having land in Africa ever again. As a natural consequence of this, we demand that the Thai navy never be allowed in African waters either. Finally, we demand that Thailand turn over all military assets in Namibia to whoever occupies it after they depart. The missiles should be decommissioned and destroyed, and everything else can be turned over to the new occupier-again, we suggest Nexiren or Cruzeiro as these two countries share borders with Namibia. We would also be open to the Transvaal or potentially even La Plata, or more than one nation, taking over. These are not demands for revenge. Rather, they are demands for just consequences as a result of some of the most flagrantly egregious threats to regional and global peace and security the contemporary world has ever witnessed.

Once again, we are steadfastly committed to defending our people and our land from violent and unpredictable aggression. We are also committed to protecting regional stability in Africa. The force we are currently mobilizing and massing on Annobon and in Cabinda is no small army, it is a significant portion of our armed forces. This symbolizes the great importance of the effort to stop Thai aggression in its tracks, and we call on all of southern Africa to devote itself to this cause.

That is all.

The Honorable Kenneth Samuel Watkins

President of the Federative Dominion of New Vilania

Stay tuned for more updates on the situation in Namibia, not just news from us, but other nations involved. We are aware of Transvaal, La Plata, Osmans, Britain, and Balhae’s involvement thus far.