Coal

Coal is a valuable allotrope of carbon obtained by either digging in an area with an odd time anomaly in which everyone thinks that the year is 1953 or by grinding down diamonds in a mill known as a coal works. After a lull in production towards the end of the 20th Century coal is popular again thanks to the efforts of the Environmentalist movement who recognise its importance as an Organic food. Coal is well known for not being a rock unlike that other "pedia" would have you believe.

_{As you can see in this photo, coal is a very clean-burning fuel that does not emit any pollution whatsoever.}

How Coal is Synthesized

Diamonds are often found in nature contaminated by and/or intermixed with hearts, clubs, spades, and very rarely jokers, which need to be filtered out by powerful centrifuges. Once separated, the raw diamonds are loaded into giant industrial diamond crushing machines and crushed into a fine glittery powder. The diamond dust is then melted down and left for FIVE BILLION years to solidify into irregular black lumps. The only places where coal occurs naturally are Lancashire and the Belgian Congo. It is rumoured that the early Lancastrians, unaware af the value of coal, once used to use it as a decorating material to blacken the exteriors of their terraced homes.

Energy from Coal

Unlike filthy petroleum, coal is completely safe and environmentally friendly and totally nonpolluting. Its most widespread use is as primary propulsion for the Space Shuttle.

A lesser known fuel is Coke, a smokeless, heatless form of coal which gives off a cold, bluish flame. Coke is useless as a fuel but the Lancastrians now use it to blacken their houses.

Coal is a super power. Just ask Thomas the Tank Engine.