Nation Bulletin

Glatixland and Igua-sul reach agreement on shared naval base! (And other news)

Discussions with the Solistas have proven fruitful, and the construction of a new joint base has begun!

By Glatixland State News
02/02/2022 03:20 pm
Updated: 02/02/2022 03:20 pm

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Nossos novos amigos!

Today, the Glatixland Department of State Diplomacy reached an agreement with the Solistas on the location of the new joint operational naval base. The base will play host to over a hundred Glatixian attachés from the Shutenboatte, Luftenfighten, and Glatixlandwehr respectively. An official name for the base has not yet been decided upon, though the moniker 'camp friendship' seems to be popular among Glatixian engineers responsible for overseeing the base's construction. Materials from Glatixland will be escorted by the 'El Diablo' naval taskforce. 

Finley O'Neal's office was contacted for comment, but following the recent accidental press release regarding the non-invasion of Sardinia, it was discovered that the Director of Diplomatic Affairs was dead of suicide. O'Neal appears to have shot himself in the back of the head, before covering himself in gasoline, burning his own body, then driving himself to a waste-management facility outside of Katesville where he then hurled himself into a large trash compactor. Very tragic.

Instead, we spoke to his replacement, Arnold Mann:

"Sardinia isn't real! There's no such thing! Wait? We're talking about the base? Oh. Yes, well, we firmly believe that the joint base will boost our presence in South America, as well as act as a deterrent against further aggression from Williamsbourg. This is part of a classic Glatixian diplomatic strategy. After all, what's better for easing tensions than an increased military presence, and active naval patrols with instructions to fire on anyone who looks at them funny?"

Glatixland applauds the dis-arming of nuclear weapons

Despite ordering the provision of direct aid to Igua-sul, the Chancellor did take a moment to commend Williamsbourg for disarming it's nuclear weapons, though added the caveat that the possession of nukes remains an issue:

"The pansy switch can be flipped at any time, sending one of those coward silos across the sea to strike the good people of Igua-sul. While I respect the decision to disarm some nukes, having them in the first place remains a mark of weakness. We still believe, firmly, that war needs to be conducted the old-fashioned way. What even is uranium enrichment? It sounds like some kind of newfangled liberal art's nonsense."

Food prices skyrocket continue to rise amid nuclear winter!

In one of the longest-lasting nuclear winters in Orbis history, food prices have risen by almost 50%, with the lowest PPU resting at $159. Global food production has ceased almost entirely, with smaller nations struggling to import food between high prices and active global conflict. Fortunately, our glorious nation invested heavily into contingency stores, stocking up enough food to ride out the rise in prices. Nonetheless, the state has begun to issue strict rations, uncertain of how long the radiation storms will continue.

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Posted February 02, 2022 at 11:40 pm

May we be great allies

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