PRESIDENT SLAYER BANS MARAH CAREY'S "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU" FROM THE URG

Today, President Slayer announced to the public that the infamous Mariah Carey hit, "All I Want for Christmas Is You" will be banned from the public and all sales of the song or prohibited. The President had this to say: "The song is currently the greatest threat to mankind at this point, for years, the people of Greenland and much of the western world have had to suffer under the constant blaring of this song. I and millions of others just can't take it anymore. So I looked for loopholes within Greenland's constitution, looking for anyway to save my people from this repugnant piece of "music" and it turns out as President I can actually bypass parliamentary procedures when it comes to music should it pose a threat to the Republic. So I am announcing that effective immediately, this repulsive song is banned from the Republic. It is to dangerous to be listened too. I am also banning Mariah Carey from entering the country. That is all. Glory to the Republic."

In other news, Round 1 of the Presidential elections begin next Monday, (for sure this time, dont mind me putting this off for literally 7 months) This week there will be Presidential debates between the top candidates from each party. President Slayer will have to convince the people to re elect him and prove his case for why he is better than the other candidates. We will keep you updated. 

For now, this is Melvin Seahorse reporting for GNN.