Free and fair elections? As if!
In a drastic violation of Glatixian law, Sallyham officials have opted to implement a new system for choosing public officials. Rather than the usual process of government appointment via the chancellor, this convoluted new concept relies on an extremely chaotic approach of asking regular Glatixians to write down a name on a piece of paper, and then to stuff that name into a large box. The pieces of paper are then removed from the box after a fixed period, and whoever's name was written down the most is granted authority over the city.
Further adding to the insanity of this strange concept is the fact that more than one office will be up for 'election'. That's right, not only are citizens being -forced- to engage in the excruciating process of choosing a local leader for themselves instead of relying on the traditionally perfect choices made by the chancellor, but they are further expected to repeat this for -multiple- offices.
In a sweeping condemnation of this heinous and anti-Glatixian initiative, the chancellor had this to say:
"Democracy and Glatixland go together like peanut butter and mayonnaise. We're the Jingoistic States of Glatixland, not the League of United Liberal Pansies. On average, we put down three would-be revolutions a month, and these bastards wanna give dissenters a PLATFORM?! Do they have any idea how hard we work to keep our citizens in a state of perpetual terror? I executed by own nephew last week for failing to sing our anthem in the proper key. It's like no one appreciates the staggering amount of political violence that goes into maintaining a dictatorship!"
Following his speech, the chancellor ordered the arrest of any government officials involved in the "Sallyham coup", as well as a larger crackdown against any further efforts to implement a voting system.
Despite the blatant treason of the pro-democracy effort, the chancellor has yet again displayed his profoundly merciful tendencies via a second address:
"We understand that the ring leaders are the ones to blame for this, not the ordinary Glatixians who've been caught up in this silly pro-democracy movement. As such, I'm only permitting peacekeepers to use steel truncheons, and they're only allowed to shatter a single kneecap per protester. These are still citizens of Glatixland, and they deserve to be treated as such."
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