Glatixland announces formation of new national "Battle Band" in tribute to Maja Kaj Szymon!

The Brass Legion

While many of our avid readers know that Glatixland is reputed as a practical nation, avoiding unnecessary expenditures like affluent architecture, publicly-funded artwork, and basic utility services, it seems that the Chancellor has been inspired to form Glatixland's very own marching band!

This exciting news has been discussed in detail by none other than the Chancellor himself:

"Reading about the injuries of Maja Kaj Szymon admittedly struck a chord with me. Her selfless defense of her nation is something that should resonate with every Glatixian. Sacrifice is something that I've always admired. As someone who's personally sacrificed millions of Glatixian lives, usually for like a cool looking island or something, I believe that I'm uniquely suited to offer a personal commendation to Maja for her bravery.

As such, we've founded a national band in her honor! Though I was initially skeptical about the idea, knowing that bands can fight each other helped to change my mind. I'd been under the impression that they just did music and honestly that's a bit silly. Now that we know that they're allowed to beat each other into submission, we're eager to send our best musicians to represent Glatixland at the next international event!"

Making matters more exciting is the announcement of the band's drum major, High school Sophomore Ivan Killaton!

Seen right: 16 year old Ivan pulling a 350 lb tire.

Unfortunately, several critics have voiced concerns about letting young Ivan participate in such a grueling sport as band brawling, as such might interfere with his state-approved education and after school work as a pit fighter. However, state officials have calmed these concerns by expressing a new initiative to include band practice among extracurricular credits.

Having met with Ivan, the new Minister of Musical Affairs had this to say:

"Ivan is a talented young man with a bright future ahead of him. He's already mastered the use of his baton, including in combat. We feel that our band will really make waves at the next event, especially when the fighting starts!"

Ivan has already impressed many Glatixian spectators with his leadership abilities, as well as his ruthless martial efficiency. Just last week, at the Glatixburg regional playoffs, he was able to kill six other students in a single round! 

Ivan himself has expressed excitement about the possibility of competing against bands from Igua-sul, La Punta, and even our authoritarian brothers from Williamsbourg:

"Ivan extends best wishes to foreign competition. Ivan will demonstrate healthy sportsmanship by removing only the heads of his rivals."

Truly, Ivan Killaton represents the best and brightest of our nation.