Nation Bulletin

Smorgasbord resumes operations after food coma wears off.

I only gained 19 pounds over Christmas.

By Chief Glutton Sherman Klump
01/05/2022 08:30 pm
Updated: 01/05/2022 08:30 pm

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Every year the Eternal Smorgasbord celebrates it favorite state holiday, which lasts from Thanksgiving day until January 2nd. This is a joyous time of food, fellowship and, well, more food. Families gather nightly to to play games while basking in the glory of casseroles, popcorn, ice cream and steaks. 

 

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After the final celebration of food on New Years Eve, the next great holiday arrives. The 5 days of sleeping. Smorgasbordians take to their homes to sleep off the meat sweats and allow all of their bloodstreams to return to normal after being 57% gravy.

 

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Grand Poobah Tubby was quoted as saying, "This was a joyous holiday, but now back to real life.... until St. Paddy's Day!

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