Corsica ‘invited’ to join with Glatixland, or else
Corsica, a large island off the western coast of Italy, has long been a contested territory of Glatixland. The nation has laid claim to the mountainous region since the signing of the Glatixburg-Glatixburg Treaty, a joint agreement between the Chancellor of Glatixland and the Chancellor of Glatixland to cede Sardinian territories to Glatixland.
The state insists that this is not an invasion, but a “pre-reunification” and a “diplomatically arranged annexation by force”.
The Chancellor made remarks regarding the pre-reunification, stating:
“We are happy to welcome our Corsican brothers and sisters back into our great nation… for the first time! Corsica has long been a historical part of Glatixland, they simply weren't aware of that fact until a few hours ago!”
While it's certainly true that Glatixland has only existed for less than a year, Glatixian historians trace a claim to Corsica back to the early days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire… somehow.
“See, our founders were Austro-Hungarian soldiers who'd been frozen in ice for decades and sustained brain dam- er… a sensual awakening to the jingoistic nature of diplomacy. The Austro-Hungarian Empire was once part of the Holy Roman Empire, which in-turn came from the Carolingian Empire. The Carolingians were Franks who became the nation of France, which possessed Corsica for decades. Well, as far as we can tell, France is no longer around, ergo the closest descendants of the Carolingians would be Austro-Hungary, which also doesn't exist anymore! However, Glatixland is essentially the last nation with actual Austro-Hungarians living within it's borders. Therefore, we naturally have the best claim!” states unaccredited historian, John Hamston, clearly not believing a single word he's said thus far.
Other historians have attempted to draw connections between Austro-Hungarian nobility and Corsican aristocrats.
“I'm sure that some Von Hapsburg married some French dude from Corsica. They married everyone, even each other. So there, de jure claim or whatever," asserts Wilken Galts, a local janitor with a YouTube channel that posts EUIV videos.
Regardless of historical questions, the newest Glatixian citizens seem more than happy to have joined the nation.
“I've always been a huge fan of the nation!” says a local Corsican, smiling widely and not blinking. “We're grateful for the benevolence of-”
The man briefly stops speaking as the crack of rifle squad fire echoes out from behind him. He then clears his throat, and continues in a slightly nervous tone.
“-the Jingoistic States of Glatixland! Some Corsicans have expressed concerns about the inva- er… the pre-reunification… but I for one welcome our new sovereigns."
Another round of rifle cracks can be heard behind the grinning Corsican, shortly before the feed is cut.
Glatixland makes state visit to Italian mainland, using the military
Sailing across the channel from the home islands of Glatixland, Glatixian diplomats paid a visit to the nation's coastal neighbors in the Italian peninsula, alongside divisions from the Glatixlandwehr. The diplomats landed this morning, taking the towns of Piombino and Punta Ala by storm with famed Glatixian diplomacy and overwhelming aerial and naval bombardment. Residents of the coastal settlements were reportedly so impressed with the state's negotiating abilities that they've opted to join Glatixland!
Presently, the city of Follonica is actively resisting Glatixian discourse, but the Department of State Diplomacy's famed “two-pronged negotiation/artillery barrage strategy” will hopefully warm them up to the idea of accepting the state's offer of protection.
Glatixland military chiefs announce investments in Luftenfighten, renewing anti-nuclear commitments
Standing outside of besieged Follonica, General Klaus Von Murderdorf offers a cheery statement about the future of Glatixland's Luftenfighten. The constant snap of small arms fire can be heard between occasional artillery barrages. Tank and trunk columns regularly speed down a nearby road leading to the city.
“We've released that there are more efficient and humane ways of waging war than simply throwing tens of thousands of soldiers against enemy machine-gun positions. Air superiority is a quick and effective means of mitigating overall damage and securing victory with minimal casualties. Glatixland's military is committed to ethical standards of fighting, and we've long decided to never resort to the use of nuclear weapons.”
A jet flies overhead with a deafening scream, heading towards the city. A large hospital explodes alongside several other buildings.
“Nukes are just so… unethical.”
