Space Invaders found to be race of ancient simps

By pure chance, a scientist from Purdue University hooked up with a fat nordic human, leading to this wild discovery. The scientist observed what he thought to be a “pig-in-a-blanket” on the “woman's" dresser, but it turned out to be the tiny phallus of TheRiddler. She confessed that she attempted to bite it off as a snack after she saw him putting peanut butter on it and heading for the barn. What a primitive culture those Orients have. However, local scientists tested TheRiddler's tiny member, and found EXTREMELY HIGH levels of estrogen; explaining the miniscule size. But the most exciting part was found in the DNA! Within his DNA, scientist's were able to isolate a gene that is only present in the simpest of simps. This indicates that he'd probably sniff a ladies poopy toilet paper just to get even a mere whiff of the tang. What a clown; and what a discovery! Congrats to Purdue!