far-right extremists orchestrated a ‘Cultural Crime’ as they illegally practised their illegitimate enterprise last Sunday at the People’s Democratic Center for Justice. Suspect’s Eva Dull and Erin Dull were approached by State Police early Sunday afternoon.
Eva (12) and Erin (15), were selling lemonade to save up for candy. Eva expressed that they wanted to save up enough Yuan to buy a ‘limitless’ amount of candy for the both of them. Erin however was slow to corroborate this testimony and required further persuasion as to why he allowed him and his sister to be tempted by bourgeois tendencies. Later he was sent to a correctional facility for misbehaving children.
His Parents stated in an interview with local news: “He’s always been a very rebellious child, we hope that this will improve his skills as a worker and prove his loyalty to the great people of this nation.”. Eva the younger sister of Erin has been heavily advised to repeat Social Training courses imperative for her growth and development as a young revolutionary.
Why were these pure children of the Union so easily corrupted by repugnant capitalistic desires? One may ask. It is easy to blame their naivety in lue of the bigger issue that has been plaguing this nation. Nonetheless fellow workers we must not forget what our Glorious Leader stated upon the founding of the Democratic Peasant’s Union: “We are the interwoven tapestry of the proletariat. Together we must be stronger than steel and burn hotter than coals beneath it, for without unity our vision will be frayed, torn and forgotten!”. As he so eloquently stated, these children simply withered from the folds of our collective attention and required extra education.
It is truly shameful that we have left our youth to revise the future with pre- revolutionary ideas. Dreadful ideas that have caused the wealth of millions to be stolen by greedy and despotic bourgeois oppressors.
Our Leader recently drafted a new education policy that passed unanimously through the chambers of the Worker’s International Congress. A policy that will rejuvenate the youth of the nation with a new goal in mind: World revolution! With this policy in place the youth will receive a wider variety of courses regarding topics such as: Patriotism, Serving the will of the union, Maintaining public harmony, and dialectical materialism. Funds will be allocated from the budget to plan field trips to popular locations throughout the countryside. The children will learn to appreciate the work of peasants and farmers through practical engagement.
A proposed 6 month military immersion program will be available for youth 14 - 18 Years of age coming next fall. This program would allow for youth to experience a limited portion of military training before the mandatory enlistment date. This will act as a practical applications programme to encourage patriotism and love for their Motherland. A nation which has and continues to work tirelessly for the common worker!
With Solidarity - Marius Vekkini
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🤣 This is amazing!