Chaos in the empire as Vietnam flavor hot pockets was submitted by trollers into the administrative database.

It was early in the morning when the REP administration announced that a mandatory baseball game should be played to mimic….Uhhhh I mean “create” human fun. The game in itself was largely uneventful besides from the use of a potato as the ball which was still in compliance of the calculator act of 2090. Which permitted the use of starch based foods to be used in calculators (if used to play DOOM), ball games, and for assistance in interplanetary exploration and communication. 

During the halfway mark of the game, a sudden anonymous call to the COACHBOX2000™ delivered cryptic message on the fax line. After being ignored for 6 days the message was eventually discovered and read towards the last hecklers in the stadium, «entoptic tomahawk vents» which upon translation revealed the fax was «Want Vietnam Hot Pockets» the commentators upon hearing the sacred words and trying out the snack are in intensive care and the rest of the population is now suffering from PTSD, depression and anxiety related conditions. 0001 has declared a state of emergency but who knows how much damage has this already done? 

This is reporter REP_REPORTER_]#<?#€|?^]€[€??? signing off.