Please don't sell your shares
My loyal slaves have alerted me that apparently investors don't have faith in my company anymore. I'd like to tell you that we have record high unhappiness (worker productivity for sure) and our coffee still tastes the 43rd best in the continent (excluding companies that treat their workers fairly). So stop being a whack and don't sell your shares or I'll use some of that venture capital to buy myself an army to HUNT YOU DOWN.
Replies
If you want more wholesome posts buy coffee
Wholesome posts? Of course not!
I will invest in your coffee I guess