We're hiring!

A long long time ago...people didn't care no nothing about rights! Well, they couldn't do anything ' bout it! Why can't we just take people and make them work? This stupid system they want wages and benefits it's all stupid!!! Where did loyalty go! I'm not hiring one hippy teenager who thinks that they need some stupid 444j or Life insurance! Surprise! You don't. I really wish people weren't so whiney. If you break your arm deal with it! In fact, I'm not gonna pay my new employees anyth-

Sir we're recording. 

For what? Instatube?? 

For our job promotion.

Well you can cut a video, right? 

Right? 

...

Welcome to Cressida! The premier coffee shop that somehow continues to run a failing country, we're rehiring for barista positions! 

Job requirements -

Can pour coffee 

Can handle large customer loads

Is fine with giving "non-optional gifts" to our master (days of unpaid work)

Since coffee isn't profitable anymore, we will ALSO give "Exposure" and "Experience" to baristas by deploying them on the warfield! You all chose this - can't pay ten dollars for a coffee 🙄 (broke idiot) Thanks! Apply now!