I honestly don't know what to do.

I honestly still feel like I don't want to fight, and despite talking to somebody about this situation, I still feel like there's this weird thing. I think what I feel like ia that the war shouldn't be going on, because there are 2 nations that appear to be at the most fault here, but I won't say which for the sake of proving a point. I figured that maybe I could be a peacekeeper, that there doesn't appear to be a good reason behind why we're even fighting a war, but it turns out that it goes way deeper than that. There is actually a reason as to why this war is happening, but the thing is that this could have been handled better on everyone's part. Look, the thing is, I think that for now, I shouldn't get involved until I can grasp the information that was given to me to attempt to achieve anything at all. I would say that I would be going on break, but honestly, I'm even too worried to go to sleep.

"I wish to understand, wish to be able to feel what these others feel. I do not understand what's going on, even thought it had been told to me like someone reading straight out of a book. I just wish I understood the mistakes I'm making, that under my own actions, I must do what it takes to do the right thing, because I have reason to. To not fight a battle you know is worth fighting is shameful, and to fight a battle you know isn't worth fighting is much of the same. I chose to not fight a fight I believe I understand, but what if I don't have the feeling of understanding? Why deprive me of meaning, of purpose? What should I do, what should I do?"

-I don't know, some random guy from Jangurupureri.

The nation prevails, but does it really?

Have I been lying to myself, gullible to myself. 

Have I made the wrong call, have I make the right call?

I hope I did, cause after this, I lock my decision, and I shall go on the high alert.

I think I may be going insane. <-- Select All This Here.