Nation Bulletin

Olympic Sun Dragons Posters Released; National Fitness trend arises; Project in danger; Jangurupureri's ruined diplomacy.

Posters Of The Janguresian Olympic Sun Dragons released; National Fitness trend arises; Project in danger; Jangurupureri's ruined diplomacy.

By Sun Dragon Emperor Wu Sassikastomo
05/07/2023 10:53 pm
Updated: 05/07/2023 10:54 pm

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Date Released: November 17, 2087weather_cloudy.png/May 7th, 2023weather_cloudy.png
 

Format: Parliamentary Press Passage Post Format - 103, (4PF - 103).

Name Of Transcript: Posters Of The Janguresian Olympic Sun Dragons released; National Fitness trend arises; Project in danger; Jangurupureri's ruined diplomacy.


 

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For more Information regarding the JTAL-194 News Channel, click here!

 

Disclaimer: The following news reporter has translated today's news on the channel into a transcript, and many things have been edited on their part. Please consider this when assuming what was on the channel and what was really just edited for this specific series of events, placed within these transcripts.

Ms. Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva, JTAL-194 News Reporter: 

Hello everyone out there in Orbis, and welcome back to the international version of the Janguresian Parliamentary Broadcasting Channel! My name is Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva and we have a severely slow news day today, folks! We'll be talking about the Olympic Sun Dragon Team's posters for the 2088 Olympics, a trend in fitness, a university project in danger, and the messed up diplomacy of our nation. For any questions regarding the situations talked on about here, or you're more interested about the events featured here, please go to the Janguresian Governmental Website to find out more about said events. Anyways, let’s get started with...

 

Sharuli Gralimagan the Third, JTAL-220 News Reporter: 

WAIT! You forgot me, dudette! Remember, I do the sports stuff! I'll let you do the boring stuff! That's our whole shtick, isn't it, dudette?

 

Ms. Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva, JTAL-194 News Reporter: 

First off, that stuff isn't boring! It's important for everyone to know about politics, and especially war! Don't you want to know what's going on in the world?

 

Sharuli Gralimagan the Third, JTAL-220 News Reporter: 

Nah, dudette. I'm cool just knowing what I know!

 

Ms. Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva, JTAL-194 News Reporter: 

How are you even a member of Parliament again?

 

Sharuli Gralimagan the Third, JTAL-220 News Reporter: 

I got no clue! Anyways, let's get to the exciting stuff, dudette!

First off, we have:

Chapter 1: Support The Brave Olympian Sun Dragons!

Yes, the Sun Dragons have now released posters to help support their training, and to allow our very capital to host the games!

We've actually gotten some broski's from Parliament that said that the message, "We Can Do It, Sun Dragons," Is very vague, and we'll tell you what it means. It means, "WE CAN GET THE GOLD IF WE TRY, EVERYONE!"

This message has actually been inspiring to many people, as we've never really had a major sports event in our history, yet, you know?

Ahh, I'm just glad that the whole FSON & JEC thing is over. Allows myself to enjoy the sports more, you know what I'm saying?

We'll show you the posters and what they all mean! I'll tell you my personal favorite later!

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The Posters are in a large bundle pack that you can buy for 52,500 Yariliajn (YJ-S2), or 150 USD.

The first poster is of a woman in the Sun Dragon High Jump team, as they jump over a pole as high as hot air balloons go, looking like they're effortlessly and gracefully doing so. It's the least exciting out of all of these posters, but it's a great piece of art.

The second poster is of the Sun Dragon Sailing Team, the team that's currently the most popular team in Jangurupureri, and no wonder why! These dudes and dudettes look amazingly epic in this poster, and they seem apparently be able to sail so well, they could literally sail on water! Now, of course, no human being has that power, but it's still an epic poster that really makes you feel like you're about to see some kind of movie!

The Third Poster is of the Sun Dragon Karate Team. These dudes are some of the most underrated in all of the team, as they receive little popularity, but their poster truly is a sight to behold. It shows the leaders of the team, all over the clouds and mountains, as the rest of the team does grand karate as slick and smooth as air itself! Truly an outstanding poster indeed!

The Fourth Poster is of the Sun Dragon Swimming Team, and also of Ms. Jangurupureri, who is actually swimming team! For those of you who don't know who Ms. Jangurupureri is, she is a national icon, whose skills are unmatched by anyone else in the nation, and serves as an inspiration for many who go into swimming in our nation. Ms. Jangurupureri; however, also has an inspiration, and that inspiration is to become the best swimmer in the world. This poster depicts her ability and strength is as tall as the Himalayas, which is way she is so large in this poster. She is also flying the old Janguresian Diplomatic Flag (It has green represents the mountains, which is the ethnicity and place where she was born in), over a orange Komodo Dragon, a creature that symbolizes great ability in our nation, over small waves of water, and a very large mountain range.

The Fifth and Final Poster is of the Sun Dragon Baseball Team. The person on the cover is of Mehrdad Mahdavi-Luqman Voznikov, a Kazakh, Zullimenistani, & Raiganesian Baseball player. He's an icon of Janguresian Baseball, as he is the team captain and main pitcher of the Sun Dragon Baseball Team, the team that eventually evolved into the Olympic Sun Dragons (Multi-Sport Team). He's a very special icon in Janguresian sports, as he celebrates his native Persian Culture, and is very proud of where he came from, which inspires many others to express where they come from in Jangurupureri. His celebration of his culture is why you see the Emblem of Iran on his jacket, as well as the Diplomatic Flag, on Mehrad's shirt.

All of these are great poster; however, I did say I was going to poster which poster was my favorite, it would have to be the Ms. Jangurupureri poster, since it's a great representation of inspiration, courage, ability, experience, and perseverance. Plus, the waving flag is super cool. I've never seen anything like that in the posters we have for our nation. On top of that, I think Komodo Dragons are cool.

Ms. Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva, JTAL-194 News Reporter: 

Of course you do. Hmm, my favorite poster would have to be the Karate Poster, especially since I know a bit about Karate!

GO, KARATE TEAM!

Sharuli Gralimagan the Third, JTAL-220 News Reporter: 

See? You're getting into the sports spirit! Speaking of which, on-to the next chapter!

Chapter 2: Olympic Fever, and not that type, either

Olympic Fever has hit Jangurupureri hard, and no, we don't mean by people in Jangurupureri are getting sick.

We mean that more people are actually starting to get more fit!

You see, some guys in the JDMM have been doing a study on the Olympics, since they believe that knowing how much the Olympic Hype can affect people's health can say a lot about how the Janguresian Government's hype for the Olympics has affected it's people, and it turns out that Jangurupureri may just act as one independently, as nearly after it was announced that Jangurupureri was going to be in the Olympics, nearly everyone started to jump on this bandwagon. You can even see for yourself on this very graph!

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The Chart Of Janguresian Fitness seems to notice that as the Olympics were announced, on November 6th, everything soon changed. 

As more hype grew, more people became interested in getting fit. In fact, there are two times where the Olympics Hype and Percent of Fit people chart hit, which is on November the First, and November the Tenth. At the same time, as more people became interested in getting fit, less people have been using Drugs and Alcohol, which was recorded by the JDMM to represent how much of an impact the Olympics is having on the nation. In fact, only in one point did the Drug/ Alcohol Usage and percent of people getting more fit hit, and that is near the same time where Olympics Hype and Drug/Alcohol Usage hit, which was around November the 8th. From there, the graph gets drastically different. From where Drug and Alcohol Usage reigned on about 75% of the population, now it only reigns less than a quarter of the population, as fitness and hype starts reigning on more than 3/4s of the entire Janguresian population.

Truly an impressive graph, but it does go to show how much hype can affect an entire populous. This research will be greatly used by the JDMM and the Janguresian Government; however, the Janguresian Govenrment, while happy about the results it produced, isn't really all that well about the fact that they're influencing much of the population into doing what they found as exciting; however, the JDMM has let them know that it turns out that most of the population actually likes fitness. This is because since most of the cities in Jangurupureri are quite walkable, many people prefer to walk to their destinations and workspaces, rather than get in a car to drive over those locations. Because of this, when the hype came, many people decided to practice running, especially since the Sun Dragon Marathon Team has been inspiring many people to start running for health, as they often practiced in many of the Parliamentary Parks in the nation, as well as on the streets, and other types of terrain and spaces.

Speaking of rough terrain, T.B, take it away!

Chapter 3: Off-Shot Education

 

Ms. Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva, JTAL-194 News Reporter: 

Thank you, "S.G.III." So, we'll be talking about some of the more serious stuff now.

Regarding the diplomatic relations between Systems and Daverberg, after Wu Sassikastomo has striken at evidence, incriminating the nation of Daverberg, Sigurd has come out with a message to the SDE, regarding the diplomatic relations. 

This is what he's said:

Sigurd The Guardian's words:

I am telling you this. I said that we can do a war and whoever wins takes the land. His compromise was ME GETTING KICKED OUT OF MY LAND. HE TRIED TO KICK ME OUT OF MY ALLIANCE AFTER THAT DID NOT WORK. He is a man not to be trusted with. I will not listen to his dumb proposals, I am not in war with HIM right now but with others. Look. If he is your ally, that's okay but I will never work with his ally. I'm very sorry but we might have to discard the ongoing project because I can't trust an ally of his. You have two choices. Choose a dumb warmonger, who stalks and is very very greedy or a good ally to be trusted and be at the top. 

You have 48 hours to respond with an answer and your ONLY respond should be either "okay, I trust you" or "no, let's part ways". I suggest you think about it.

Dismissed.

We, at the Janguresian Parliament, shall assume that Daverberg's King's words, are not edited in any means, and are only used for the sake of understanding the rest of the story. If King Sigurd wishes for these words to be taken down in this transcript, they shall do so by commenting down the page, or messaging the Royal Janguresian Parliament.

Currently, ongoing debates about the situation are at a standstill, divided into "Stay with Daverberg" and "Stay With Systems."

This is because Daverberg has provided grand support for education, has lands available to build a university, and is a nation, whose priorities seem to fit similarly of that of Jangurupureri's educational priorities, which is great for cooperation; however, at the same time, Systems has greater influence over the lands, has far more advanced technology, and has been more of an ally that's been cooperative with the Parliament's confusion over the situation between the two nations. 

On top of that, but talks about possibly opening up a study agreement with the nation of Dauchh Palki have been in the works.

So far, the decision in Parliament appears to be leaning towards the "Stay With Systems" side than the "Stay with Daverberg" side, but involvements about the debates are currently still in the works.

Speaking of debates, we'll be talking about the poor state of diplomacy in Jangurupureri next.

Chapter 4: Why Must We Do This To Ourselves?

"Janguresian Diplomacy is at such a terrible state of confusion. Alright, we'll admit, we aren't great at diplomacy as we originally thought we were. There, are you happy?"

-Wu Sassikastomo, as they were talking about Extreme Diplomatic Confusion to Zhrau Shauran, head of the Artwork Imperial National News Organization.

Diplomatic Relations have been greatly been deteriorating after the creation of most of the diplomatic relations, specifically towards those allied to Jangurupureri, who are fighting each other.

Systems and Daverberg are one example of this, but we already discussed about this; however, there is another.

Dauchh Palki and the GW. You see, many things have been going on with the GW's chairman, the Second Empire of RoDevs's leader, Neil Oro, regarding personal matters. Ever since then, there has apparently been a war with the nation of Dauchh Palki, which we at the Janguresian Parliament don't 100% understand at the moment. We don't want to fight Dauchh Palki, especially since we're currently trying to strike an study agreement with them, but at the same time, there is no telling what will happen with JP's position as a GW Memberstate. We hope that those at the GW understand, as we don't mean to go against any GW policy; however, all this diplomatic confusion has baffled most of our Parliament's decisions regarding miliarial actions. It's just that we don't have a set standard for diplomatic policies, especially since we are an Internationalist type of nation as well.

On top of that, but since our nation was able to continue existing due to having lots of diplomatic relations, this is also another reason why we wish to have many diplomatic relations; however, when it comes to choosing our diplomatic relations, we're basically like this: 

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And we are fully aware of how cringy it is for an entirely government-owned thing to basically post memes, but it sums up our diplomatic situation perfectly. We wish to have lots of diplomatic relations, but we aren't really smart about how we get it.

 

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This has been your broski, Sharuli Gralimagan the Third, and our great newscaster dudette, Taliialuxia Baraolivasiva , with your international, and national news, and your boring and exciting news!

Thank you for watching our news for today, and if you wish to get a paper copy of this, you can check out our website, or sign up to receive papers of this news by mailing us at this address!

Unfortunately, our current method towards updating our location, so you are more aware of our news location doesn’t seem to be working all that well, AND THE I.T GUY STILL HASN'T F-ING CAME YET!  You’ll see this GOD-F-IN' ERROR pop up quite a bit. Until then, folks, have a great rest of your evening, and sorry if we've upset you, it's just that we're really just going to either fire the I.T guy if he doesn't come in the next week, cause he's not on maternity leave, nor is he in a vacation, 

Sharuli's voice starts to drown out into the theme of the JTAL-194 channel, which just so happens to be a K-Mart song for some strange reason.

I mean, this guy literally is just a lazy b-

 

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Replies

Posted May 08, 2023 at 6:59 am

Me : Drink a coffee

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Posted May 08, 2023 at 7:37 am

well written bulletin as always, with lots of effort :)

 

going to make something soon

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Posted May 09, 2023 at 2:43 pm

damn how do you have the mind to write such large bulletins?

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