The Lunar Post || Issue 6

Issue 6: November 10, 2080

Luna forms diplomatic relations with Cascadia

"Suck it, R.M.R." - anonymous citizen (quoting N.R.I.)

Amid conflicts across North America, in which Luna originally claimed complete neutrality, the nation has elected to form a diplomatic alliance with the Dominion of Cascadia.

President Ari Valoris has stated the government's reasoning behind this action is due to both nations' positive relations with Novaya Rimskaya Imperiya and hostility with Rocky Mountain Republic.

"I believe the way it was said by our allies was that we have a common enemy: Rocky Mountain Republic," Valoris said. "I think it's incredibly important to have these diplomatic relations so that if something does happen, we can be ready to help our allies, and if we are attacked, we will have allies ready to protect us."

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Anomalous beings in Luna mysteriously vanish

"We will return," states a decrypted message.

After the first broadcast from the Arcadia Times, a news channel that recently attempted a partnership with TLP, was hijacked by a cryptic message surrounding the "return" of an unknown entity, reports of anomalous activity massively increased. 

However, a recent message was transmitted to the people of Luna before any sign of the beings and any other anomalous activity vanished without a trace.

The message reads:

 "W͖͇̙̻̞͉̠̠͍͎͌͆̀̈́͊͊̿͒̔̓͆̓̐̒͜͝͝E͖̞͔̘͚͍͙͚͚͎̓͛̐͐̓͒̐͊́̓̒̐̽͊̈́͊̓͠ K͕̙͔͎͖̫̠͍͙͕̫͔͋̽̀͛͒̈́̈́̈́͌̾͛͋̓́́͘̚N̢̼͚͔͎̺̝͓͖̘̔͐̾͌̔͊͐͆̓͊̈́̕͘̚̕͜͠͝E̢̢̢̝̙͇̘̘͇̻͖͊͋͑̓͋̓͐͒͛͑̒͌̒̿͋͑̚͠Ẁ̪͉͙̟̪͙͓͚͕̠͒̿͑͊͑̈́̐͌͒͐̔̀͆̓̐̾͜͜͝ T̢͉̫͇͖͉͚̺̻͇̠̐́͆̈́̈́͛̽͑̀̈́̿̀̓͋̀̾̚͜͝H̢̡̢̢̟͓̼͎̙̠͍͒̈́͆̓́͐͐̿̒̾̈́̓̔͑͊͜͝͝͝I̢̡͎̞̘͚̺͕̼̪͎͙͊̐̓̀̀̿͑̾̓͋̐̕͠͝͝͝͝͝S̢͎͓̼̦̼̙̞̟͎͙͒͊͆̈́͐́͋͋̽͋̕͝͝͝͠ W̡̡̼͍͉̫͙͉͎͇̙̒̾͐͐̿̒̾̿͛͊̈́́̽̒͘͘͘̕Ó̢̡̙̟̼̙͙̞̠͖̦͇̀͊̿̈́͑̿̈́̈́͛͊̔͆́̈́̕̚͝U̡̘̠̼̫̼͕͓͙̞̺̽̀̐̿͌̾͊̽̓̐̈́͋͘̚͘͜͠͝͠L̡̺̝̻̘̺͖̻̫̟͇̈́͆̓̒̈́̈́͆͐̔͛͌̽͆̈́͌͘͜D̢͚͍͖̻̝̙͓͚̫̙̀͊̽̈́̓͛͊̿́̈́̈́͘͘͠͝͝ H̢͎͓͇̝̼̞̙̙͔͔̀̽́̓͐̾̀͌̔̿̾̾͒͋͊̚͝͝A̼̝͕͉͔͓̻͎̺̙̙͚̐̿͒̿̾̓̀͛̿̐͌̕̕̚͝͝͠P̼͕̝̦̝͎̞̠̦̻͔͉̀̔̽͊̓͆̾̔͛̿̚͠͝͠͠Ṕ̡̢͙̠̠͚͉͕̻̠̝̠̐͌͌́͆͆͛͋̐̈́͊͛̈́͝͝͝͠É̡̙͍͙̘̺͇̙͔̞̫̺̒͐̈́̒̒̓́̐̀͛͘͝͠͝N͔͔̼͎̺̙̫̪̟̼͇̺͌̿͌̓͛̿͛͑̈́̽́͛͊̽͋͠.͉̟̦̼̺͉̫̟̫͚̫̾͆̔̓͛̈́͋͒̐̈́͑̽͆̿͘̚̕͜ W̺͚͇̺͓͇͍͔̫̼͇̦̿͒̽̾͐̔̔̽͒͋͐̐͐͋͑͑̚͠Ë̡̘̟̞̙̺͙̫̙̘́̐͒̿͐̓͋̀́͋́͑͋̕̚̕͝ Ẁ̡̢̡̫̼̫͍͓͉͇͚͇̀̓͛̈́̽́͌̒̐̐͊̈́̾̽͒̚̕I̢̪̺̙͉̟͖̪̘͇͙̐͛̽͋͋͛̐͒͊͆͒͘̕͘͜͝͠͝͠L̢̢̠͙̞̝̙͍͙͎̪͑̈́͋̈́̐́̿͋͆͌͆̚͘͠͝͠L̢͇͕̺͇̝͓͉͔̟̞̓̿̀͛̐̈́́̓̓̿͆͑̓̿̚͘͜͝ R̟͕̟̟̟̠͙͇͉̞͑̽͆͒̓́̿͊͆͌́̔̀͊̚͜͝͝E̼̞̞͚͙̞͖͎̦̫͑͌͒̐̈́̒̀̈́̓͋͒̚͘͘͝͝T̡̢̟̺͖͖͕̻̺̠͛͐̔̓͊̒̒̽͋͑́͆͘̕͘̚͜͝͝Ú͎͖̝̠̞͚͖̼͖̺̪̼͛͛͐̐̾̒͛̈́͐͘͘͘̕͝͝͝R̢̫͉͎̻̼͇̙͓͙̟̒͌͌̾͑̒͒̒͒̐͆̔͋͆͋̕̕͝N̢͍͕͖̪̻̙̪̦̼͔̾̓̽̔̓͛̿̿͐̽͑̓͑͘̕̚͘͜.̡̡͎̼̼̻͙͖͔̪͙̘͐͊̓͑͊͆̐͒͊̿͑̔̕͘͠͠"

This can be decrypted to, "We knew this would happen. We will return."

The message seemed to flash across almost all screens, no matter which device, that were powered on, before devices exhibited a similar static-like effect as did the Arcadia Times broadcast and strangely, all ran out of battery at the same time, even if they were plugged in.

Some claim that the anomalous being has been impacted by how the Chaos Insurgency no longer worships the Mask.

"It's obviously because of the Chaos Insurgency and the stuff they've been doing. As the Great Message* says it, they knew. Some of you guys don't seem to believe us, but what else could "we knew what would happen" be referring to?" says a highly liked social media post.

*the Great Message is what a certain group of citizens has come to call the transmission. This group has also been seen to treat the Anomaly (the unknown being, in their words) as their deity and to look forward to its return.

———

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Endorsed by President Ari Valoris and the entire Parliament of Luna!

———

See you next week for Issue 7 of The Lunar Post, and, hopefully, the real first Arcadia Times-TLP partnership, without any anomalous interruptions...