Safer Tanks, Safer Troops
Glatixland has long been a nation known for its superior armament designs. From helicopter ejector seats to grenades that explode as soon as the pin is pulled, innovation has always been at the forefront of Glatixian warfare. Now, in the most recent military advancement, the rate of violent explosions resultant of starting the engine of the G-22 Mainline Battle Tank has been reduced from 37.06% to only 15.23%. That's right folks, long gone are the days when there was a 1 in 3 chance of the entire crew dying in a fiery explosion seconds after the ignition key is turned! Tank-manning soldiers now only need to worry about burning death a tiny 15.25% of the time.
Of course, some anti-patriotic or foreign commentators might ask, "Why not use an engine that eliminates the risk of the crew dying just from turning it on?" Such concerns speak of deep ignorance punishable by six weeks in a re-education facility. Despite popular belief, the engine of the G-22 is perfectly designed to offer speeds well-beyond that of conventional tank engines.
The engine only runs on Explodaline, an experimental fuel source refined right here in Glatixland! While it's certainly true that six Explodaline refineries have already been obliterated in various industrial accidents, state officials have insured us that the fuel only explodes when exposed to oxygen, starved of oxygen, or is otherwise moved/displaced at a speed faster than 2.6 miles per hour.
As such, it's considered a perfectly safe and viable source of fuel and the current explosion rate is likely pure coincidence or sabotage by anti-State elements. Nonetheless, officials do advise caution when in or around a G-22 tank. The current explosion radius is known to be around 600 meters in every direction.
