Why Does Cossackia Use the Real-Life Timezone instead of the Orbis Timezone?

September 16, 2022 | People's Democratic Republic of Cossackia

Introduction

Imagine this story, if you will...

Ah! What a beautiful morning. It's 6:00 in Cossackia, you wake up, bathe, brush your teeth, get on your clothes, and onto your most favorite workplace. On your way there, you drink authentic green tea. grown from the groves of Liezelnja, as you stop by a Karlagradian cafe with marvelous, authentic nougat-colored bricks. You see cars manufactured from Adriansk, and more trucks manufactured from Nagalia.

You walk by a street, named in honor of Cossackian folklore legends, such as Karla I Karlovich Soyokov "Karla the Great" (Soyokov-Vyeki Street) of what is now Russia, who married a Polish queen, whom he rescued from Romanian pagans. His First Cossackian Empire, which spanned from Poland to Kamchatka, paved the way to what the Cossackian nation was destined to be. Or how about Mikhail Sokolov (Generala Sokolov Street), the Cossackian general who continued his work on preventing the Germans from a breakthrough? He was hailed as a hero among Cossackians on the exodus to Mindanao, after his summary execution for false accusations of war crimes.

Then you arrive at work, with your German, Russian, Ukrainian, Chinese, Filipino...well...your workmates come from all over the world to live here. That's cute. Your beautiful Bisayan girlfriend, who turns out to be your workmate, gives you a massage during every break. She'd also tell you chismis (gossip) about her grades in school and the latest news. Then your friends, your barkada (friend group), arrive to play jokes on you, and you seem to have fun with them chatting the lunchtime away.

It's September 16, 2022, and everything seems okay...until you realize...everyone around you...is not the same as you. You see, everyone is currently on March 15, 2080, but Cossackia seems to stay on September 16, 2022. Why is that?

That's what we will tackle on Explained: 

"Why does Cossackia use a different timezone?"

What's with the timezone?

This is actually not new to see, we have Cossackia Insiders complaining about the timezone we use.

Found in our Karlina Soyokova Day news article.

This one's more recent, it's in our article about LGBTQ+ immigrants.

The answer is simple, it's better to use the date according to real life than Orbis. At least, that's our instinct to use it. But because we know you Insiders want to know the real reason why, we can back it up with facts.

Why don't you use the Orbis Timezone?

We don't use the standard Orbis time, no. We know that, because let's face it, most militaries in the world are still using contemporary tech. We still have guns that look like what they were before, vehicles that look like what they were before, army uniforms that look like what they were before, and so on. Sure, some armies still use any kind of tech, outdated or not, it's Orbis after all. 

In civilian life, it still looks the same, except the world map is quite mixed up with different new leaders that came out of nowhere, no offense. It's all the same places, same looks, just different flags, coats of arms, and some little touchups. And on an unrelated note...Elysia's doing fine.

We don't use it, because hey, we don't have to. In the end, it's really our choice whether to use the Standard Orbis Timezone or not.

If you like your own timezone so much, name a country that has a different timezone.

A meme we made for you Cossackia Insiders.

HEY HEY CALM THE (Censored) DOWN DUDE, PUT DOWN THE PISTOL!!!... Anyways, there are countries like this that have different years, just like ours. Take a look at North Korea, where their year is not 2022, but Juche 110. Look, it counts from the time Kim Il-Sung is born too.

And hey, Thailand, yes you Thailand, you have a year that's wayyyyy far ahead of everyone. Your year, 2565, is 543 digits away from 2022. Not only are we dragging you in with us, but your other Buddhist friends (countries that are Buddhist) will also be dragged too. And that's only gonna keep adding up every New Year, will it? Heck, some countries are lagging in years somehow.

Now you're done with the year thingy, but not the timezone.

Calm your butt down and sit your butt down. Going back, there's no specific timezone similar to real-life UST, Universal Standard Time. No timezone here is adjusted to Orbis. Cossackia, even if we are indeed an independent country, uses the Philippine Standard Time, PhST in short. As of this moment, in the writing of this report, it's 9:41 pm.

So we time-traveled?

You could put it that way, but don't put it that way. Cossackia is fine where it is yesterday. It's just using different time zones and date systems.

In Conclusion

Cossackia has its own choice whether to use Orbis time or not. It's really our choice at the end of the day. Sure, we broke a lot of traditions like abolishing the Orbis Approval Rating System, bringing in tea from Real World Politics, and the endless list of rejecting Orbis norms goes on and on. You could say our country is quite unique, with a history full of folktales, from Goluboynan Cossacks of the steppe to the modern-day Cossackia. Our country is full of highs. One of them is that our country is the one with the cleanest energy, with the most independent and well-performing economy in Southeast Asia. We have the highest standards of living, highest standards for education, and work ethics. We have one of the most advanced militaries in the world, next to Singapore. We have the youngest population, everyone mostly 15-18 years old. We have one of the most tolerant communities for political-socio asylees. Our country is full of great achievements no country can bear. And yes, we have the most unique timezone in all of Orbis. bridging the now and the future that is Orbis.

In short, our timezone is working as it was yesterday. It doesn't need replacing.

Sources:
Juche. (2022, July 21). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juche_calendar
Thai calendar. (2022, May 27). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thai_calendar
Universal Time. (2022, August 23). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Time
Philippine Standard Time. (2022, September 5). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_Standard_Time
 

Brenda Hrvatkova, Sarah Shchastyava, Selvystr Bastillyusz, Magi Fionkorensiya — The Karlagrad Times — Editors