KAESONG - Rason’s team of best scientists have made a huge scientific breakthrough, after years of expensive experiments and extensive studies. For the general public, the scientists have released a report written in layman’s terms.
“We measured the amount of oxygen in the air,” the report began. “21% of it is oxygen. And that is an unacceptable amount.” The report detailed how they studied the medical records of over 9,000 people. All of them breathed in the oxygen, and all of them died.
This news shocked the Rasonian people to the core. “I mean, clearly we have to do something about this,” an anonymous citizen replied when asked for their opinion. “Those big corporations need to stop polluting our air like this.”
The Rasonian government announced its plan to slowly remove oxygen from the country’s airspace. They would slowly siphon the oxygen away, as people had breathed it in for so long they would die if it suddenly disappeared. They would stop once oxygen levels reached 2.4%, an amount deemed acceptable.
The siphoning of oxygen has already begun, and citizens have already been showing symptoms of oxygen withdrawal, such as headaches and nosebleeds.”I know this isn’t comfortable,” Darcy Colleen said to reporters while gasping for breath. “The real culprit is all those corporations that have been polluting our air.” She was unavailable for further comment after being sent to the emergency room in a coma.
At press time, conspiracy theorists claimed this was a government plan to acclimate citizens to lower oxygen levels so the citizens could easily attack nations in higher altitudes, an obstacle that has annoyed the Rasonian ground forces since day one.
If you enjoy Rason's high-quality satire journalism, please consider reading some of our other articles here: https://politicsandwar.com/bulletin/search/?q=Nation%3A281968&sortby=date&orderby=desc
Replies