Cheek To Cheek

While in Houston Airport on his way to a major diplomatic summit, President Philippou observed a morbidly obese man arguing with customer service after being charged for two seats because he simply could not fit into one. Unfortunately, in the middle of the kerfuffle he happened to notice the president and asked for his direct input.

“Although Texian Air is happy to accommodate all legitimate disabilities,” states Jonathan Bordeaux, a big shot Texian Air executive, “obesity simply doesn’t fit the bill. People who can’t squeeze into our seats should examine their life choices. Besides, if Texian Air just gave complementary seats to everyone who asked, our profits would fall faster than a plane in a stall.”