Glatball ban revoked! The international sports sensation that rocked a nation is back... IN GLORIOUS HD!

Glatball is BACK baby!

Dash: "GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING Glatixland and any nations currently broadcasting the newly international GLATIXLAND SPORTS NETWORK! Following a snap decision from the chancellor's office, sports and sport networks are now officially allowed to operate within our glorious nation! This is your host, Dash Jagger, coming at you live from none other than the capital city of Glatixburg itself. With me is my co-host, Chet Fuxsly. What've we got for our viewers today, Chet?!"

Chet: "Well Dash we're here at the Glatixburg Deathdome, a project only recently completed by the fine folks of the National Construction Corps. Seats are sold out and tens of thousands are packed into the stadium to watch the Blizzardstadt Berserkers go toe to toe with the Glatixburg Gorehorns in a bloody, action-packed display of some good ol' fashioned GLATBALL!"

Dash: "That they are, Chet! For those unfamiliar with the rules of Glatball, we'll give a quick rundown. The rules are real simple. Two team go head to head as they compete to bring a 6-pound rubber ball towards their opponent's side of the field. To score, they need to lob the ball at each of the enemy's five wall-mounted goal plates! Each plate is ceramic, and must be shattered by the ball for the point to count. To prevent a player from breaking them without a Glatball, they're mounted 20 feet above the ground! What's more, carrying the ball is entirely illegal. It can only be moved with a player's feet, shoulders, elbows, and head, Aztec style! Finally, no contact is off limits. Players not moving the ball can kick, punch, and bite as their hearts desire! Even death isn't off limits in this heart-pounding expression of Glatixian culture. Move aside, baseball nerds, because this is !@#$ GLATBALL!"

Chet: "Damn right it is! We'll be reporting to you live as the first game of the season begins! Who's gonna claim victory in the bloodiest sport in human history?! Who will stand over their defeated opponents and laugh at their broken bodies?! Who will survive this fantastically violent game of GLATBALL?! See it live, only on the GLATIXLAND SPORTS NETWORK!"